black tee thoughts

over there, it’s the boy in the black tee-shirt
a cig in one hand and my heart in the other
i’m not gonna say he’s the reason i’m hurt
but let’s just say i won’t show him to my mother
i wish i could say that he was the devil’s spawn
that he was vile trash of the very worst kind
but then what would that say about me at all
am i stupid, blind or just out of my mind
for loving him anyway without a thought
for the pain i would feel if that love was lost


Whoever is in charge of mercy 

Whoever is in charge of mercy

Could you spare me a little please

Whoever is in charge of forgiveness

I’m dreadfully sorry for my sins

Whoever I lent my peace to

Can I have it back even if for just a day

But whoever I left my heart with

It’s a gift. I’ll do just fine without it

A disguise that never will suffice

Without words, I am naked; I am voiceless
My self is bare; the object of stares
So painstakingly, I weave with words a dress
A disguise that never will suffice
For my face still betrays my thoughts
There’s still nudity in my eyes
There’s no scream left; my voice is hoarse
And so I write to make things right
It’s what I tell myself. I try
To robe myself in poetry
Will comfort come? I’ll hope and see

A second opinion, please

Diagnose me, please
I need a second opinion
I operated on me
I tried to get the pain out
With my hair scissors
And my lighter fire
I tried to dress my wounds
Did I do a good job
Do you still see the scars

Judge me, please
I need a second opinion
Take my statement
I may be a criminal
I broke the heart of another
And broke my own too
Then I locked myself up
And refused to be free
Did I serve enough time
Do you still see my guilt

Condemn me, please
I need a second opinion
I walked the broad path
And neglected the narrow
Then tore my clothes
And purged myself
Will your needle’s eye
Still allow me through
Did I go too far away
Do you still see my sin